Tips for parents and guardians
- Validate the underlying emotions while not validating the behavior. Self-injury is a coping strategy. Focus on the driving forces for the actions rather than the actions themselves.
- Approach your child from a nonjudgmental stance.
- Recognize that change may not happen overnight, and that there may be periods of regression.
- Acknowledge successes when they occur.
- Make yourself available for open communication. Open-ended questions may facilitate more dialogue.
- Take care of yourself as well. Ensure you use your supports and are engaging in healthy self-care.
- Take the behavior seriously. While this behavior is relatively common, do not assume it is “just a phase.”
- While remaining supportive, it is important to maintain a parental role and to keep expectations rather than “walking on eggshells.”
- Involve the child in identifying what can be of support.
- Become aware of local crisis resources in your community. National resources include Call 1-800-273-TALK for the national suicide hotline or Text 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor.
Things to avoid
- Avoid taking a punitive stance. While the behavior can be provocative, most likely the primary purpose is not for attention.
- Avoid engaging in power struggles.
- Avoid creating increased isolation for the child. This can be a delicate balance with regard to peer groups, but encouraging healthy social interactions and activities is a way to help build resilience.
- Avoid taking the behavior personally.5