He also advised troubled physicians to contact their state physician health program. These programs exist in all 50 states; most are members of the Federation of State Physician Health Programs. Staffed by physicians and other professionals, these programs provide confidential support for colleagues who suffer from stress, substance abuse disorders, or other psychiatric illnesses.
Dr. Sullivan, now 50 years old, describes his current relationship with his wife and children as good. They “know that I go to AA meetings, they know my friends, and they know that [my friends] are all addicts and alcoholics,” he said.
Alcohol, Drugs, And a Residency
I am a juvenile-onset drug addict. As a kid who grew up in Detroit in the 1940s, I had a great deal of difficulty learning and remembering things. When I was 12 years old, a pharmacist dispensed some benzedrine for me and told me that it would help me study.
Back then, benzedrine was passed out like water. But I had a second problem in addition to the learning disability. I was also a drug addict and didn't know it until I started using benzedrine as often as I could from age 12 on.
People with my disease are able to suspend their natural inbred addiction when they have a mission. My mission was to get through medical school. I didn't drink or take any chemicals for 4 years.
Ultimately, I got accepted into a plastic surgery residency program at Stanford. I was on lots of speed and lots of wine. After 2 years of residency there, it became evident that I couldn't continue taking benzedrine and continue plastic surgery, so I did what any good drug addict would do: I quit plastic surgery.
I took a year off and was accepted into a residency program at the University of Oklahoma. I realized I could no longer use benzedrine and finish my residency, so I gave it up and switched to meprobamate, an old tranquilizer from the 1950s. I also drank inordinate amounts of burgundy and finished my residency.
I moved to Maui, Hawaii, in July 1980 and continued to drink burgundy and take meprobamate until 1983, when I checked myself into Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, Calif., for chemical addiction treatment. It was one of the best experiences I've had in my life. I was pretty sick and did not know how bad things really were.
Within a month, I got the message that I had a disease. I was practicing my disease and I couldn't practice it anymore. It was the end of that era for me. I haven't drunk or taken any drugs since that time.
My Stress-Induced Drug Problem
In the mid-1980s, I was under a lot of stress from a divorce and trying to build a busy medical practice.
Back then, it was not uncommon for drug company reps to come in and leave 100 bottles of Xanax in the office.
I started taking 3–4 mg a day, sometimes more. It didn't faze me unless I missed a dose. If I did, I would go through a kind of withdrawal.
Taking Xanax brought me temporary peace of mind and the ability to deal with stress on an artificial level.
It got to the point where I needed more and more. I couldn't leave home without a bottle. The drug started to interfere with my thought processes, my capacity to remember to answer pages in a timely fashion, and my ability to be in top shape both physically and mentally so I could deal with patients' problems.
I used Xanax for more than 2 years before some very understanding fellow physicians and other colleagues noticed that something wasn't quite right. They sat me down and talked to me.
Because of their intervention, I sought help from a local church, from a counselor, and from friends who were members of a 12-step program.
There are at least two factors that predispose physicians to some form of substance abuse. One is their relatively easy access to drugs. The other is a sense of isolation that's easy to fall into.
We need to seek healthful outlets for stress, such as getting regular exercise, eating properly, trying to get a decent amount of sleep, and seeking help both spiritually and from our family.