Three GIANTmicrobes
These calamities, critters, and corporeals are so cute they're available in the CDC's own gift shop (AOL News). “GIANTmicrobes are stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes—only a million times actual size,” according to the company's Web site,
Two Anti-Monkey Butt Powders
That would be one container each of original Anti-Monkey Butt and Lady Anti-Monkey Butt. And what, you ask, is monkey butt? The Anti-Monkey Butt Corp. describes it as “soreness, itching, and redness that occurs when you ride and sweat on a motorcycle for hours. If your butt is so sore that you have to walk bowlegged like a monkey, you have Monkey Butt!” Becky Cattani of Back Bay, Va., buys it for her 14-year-old son, who “chafes really bad, because he wears those tight pants” for skateboarding, the Virginian-Pilot said. We're looking forward to GIANTmicrobes' take on the condition.
One Holy Water Dispenser
The Catholic Church may not be the first place you'd look for the latest technology, but a new invention has put holy water on the same level as that bastion of innovation-the modern public restroom. Churchgoers no longer have to risk H1N1 by dipping their hands in a communal font: They just wave their hands under a sensor and the device spurts out holy water, Reuters reports. Luciano Marabese told Reuters that he created the automatic holy water dispenser because churches “were suspending the use of holy water fonts as a measure against swine flu.” His next project? Prayer-bench pads permeated with Anti-Monkey Butt to soothe penitents' chafed patellas.