It’s official: Angelina Jolie has raised the bar for ambitious celebrities everywhere. Sure, she lives with Brad Pitt, but so did Jennifer Aniston. Yes, Jolie adopted children from developing countries, but Madonna can do that while simultaneously singing at the Super Bowl. Only Angelina Jolie, however, can claim to be a Special Envoy of the United Nations. That’s right, you heard me Bono, Special Envoy! Of course, she will still have to report to Secretary General George Clooney.
Photo (c) dtimiraos/iStockphoto.com
What will they think of next? Kids get creative when it comes to inventing new ways to get hurt.
Even before Angelina Jolie starts envoying, the world appears to be growing safer for children. Specifically the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced a nearly 30% drop in childhood accidental deaths from 2000 to 2009. That’s especially good news since these deaths account for the lion’s share of child mortality in this age group. The greatest gains appeared to come from improved automotive safety practices, better drowning safeguards, and helicopter parents enveloping their children in bubble wrap. In a brief press release The National Association Of Overprotective Parents said, “Ha!”
Not all the news, however, was good. Death rates actually increased in two categories: infant suffocations and teen drug overdoses. CDC officials remind parents of infants to follow safe sleep practices. Parents of teens are urged to collect any narcotic or sedative medications they may have in the house and give them to parents of infants for safekeeping.
Speaking of accidental death, I’d be willing to bet that if you asked 100 parents of eighth-graders in, say, Oregon, whether they suspected their children had ever tried to choke themselves to the point of passing out, none of them would answer “yes.” According to a new study in Pediatrics, six of them would be wrong. The practice, called “the choking game,” is supposed to produce a euphoric high when blood floods back into the participant’s hypoxic brain. As you might imagine, risks include brain injury and death. Boys and girls are equally likely to “play,” and participation tends to track with other high-risk behaviors like drug use and sexual activity. I’m pretty sure the choking game wasn’t around when I was a kid, or at least one of my stupid friends would have suggested it as something to do right after we finished shooting bottle rockets at our eyes.
Parents worried about vaccination pain for their two-to-four-month-old infants can take heart in a new study validating Dr. Harvey Karp’s “Five S’s” colic cure as being superior to sucrose in relieving discomfort following immunizations. The interventions, made famous in Dr. Karp’s Happiest Baby On The Block book, DVD, training course, and telenovella, include swaddling, side/stomach position, shushing, swinging, and sucking. And to think that if even one of these interventions had started with another letter, Dr. Karp would still be doing field work with colicky babies in Malawi. Of course if he were in Africa instead of L.A. he’d have an even better chance of meeting UN Special Envoy Angelina Jolie.