Adolescence is characterized by milestone after milestone on a route that starts with early puberty and progresses to virtually complete autonomy by young adulthood. Obtaining a driver’s license is among the most meaningful steps along this path in terms of independence, responsibility, and risk. Learning to drive is a pragmatic, almost unique opportunity, as it often brings together a highly motivated teenager and concerned parents working together on a task over considerable time.
Teaching a teenager to drive encompasses teaching a skill, demonstrating an attitude, and communicating values concerning safety, peer relationships, paying for added expenses, and "adult" responsibility with rewards and consequences in the real world where not even parents can fix potential harms.
Dr. Susan Swick
Driving is a major issue in pediatric primary care, as automobile accidents are the leading cause of morbidity and mortality in children under 18 years. Pediatricians can offer parents critical guidance about helping their children master this skill, appreciate the level of risk involved, add to their growing sense of the value of money, and balance new privileges with added expectations.
Pediatricians should be aware of their state’s laws regulating when adolescents may get a driver’s permit, what they have to do to get their driver’s license, and even additional regulations around when adolescents can drive unaccompanied or with friends. One guideline to optimize safety is for the "learner" to get as many miles of practice as possible under parental supervision. The first year or two of driving carries the highest risk of accident; extensive practice may mitigate that risk. Many adolescents take "drivers ed," but these limited hours may be more effective after many informal driving lessons with a parent or other trusted relative.
All parents have vivid memories of how they were taught to drive. Pediatricians might ask parents what learning to drive was like and what it meant to them. Do the parents want to repeat or modify their own experience when they have a "second" chance with their teenager? Parents bring unique knowledge of their child’s strengths and vulnerabilities as well as their own adolescent experiences to help guide any additional rules they may wish to put in place.
Some adolescents, because of their anxiety, will be in no hurry to get their driver’s license. If your family lives where public transportation is good, there may be no need to push him faster than he can comfortably handle. But it can be helpful for parents to wonder with these adolescents what could be helpful about driving, such as whether it might be useful for building peer relationships, commuting to a summer job, or college. And the parent can be curious about what his teenager’s greatest anxiety about driving is. It may be easily addressed ("What if I run out of gas?"), or more profound. In either case, giving an anxious adolescent a chance to articulate what he is concerned about and to consider when the advantages of driving will outweigh the risks, can help him to feel he is actively choosing when to drive, not just passively waiting to feel less scared. This is an important distinction that can have resonance with later choices that may be intimidating, but necessary to normal development.
Dr. Michael Jellinek
Then there are the parents in your practice who wish their adolescent were a bit more anxious. Their child is the eager, confident, leap-before-you-look type, which poses a different set of challenges with driving. This adolescent would benefit from a more methodical, structured approach to getting her driver’s license. Extensive driving practice should help to provide enough concerning moments to temper her bravado. Stricter rules (and consequences for breaking those rules) around practicing and driving will help the intrepid adolescent develop self-control as she expands her skills gradually.
Among the most worrisome teenagers are those who are very impulsive, including those with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. It may be wise to require that this teen take his ADHD medication before driving, or have additional rules about friends and phones to minimize distractions; creating more structure and rules around this privilege can make a lifesaving difference for the impulsive teenager. During extensive practice sessions, there will be clear evidence of ADHD behaviors and how they impact driving, and these are teachable moments to build the adolescent’s self-awareness.
Driving safely is hard enough, and special efforts are necessary concerning the highest-risk behaviors. Parents are both regulators and role models on driving – with speed, courtesy, seat belts, cellphones, alcohol use, etc. It is hard to stay credible when parental behavior and teaching are not consistent.