'Amazed' by What She Did
During her ob.gyn. residency in Philadelphia, Dr. Genester S. Wilson-King learned to “do whatever was asked … no matter what.” So when her 7-year marriage ended in divorce in 1987, she applied that mantra to her new responsibilities as a single parent.
At the time, she was a public-health scholarship recipient working in Fort Pierce, Fla. Her son Brandon was 3 years old and her daughter Sylvanna was 1 year old. “I tried to make it my business to be the first one they would see in the morning and the last one they would see before they went to sleep,” said Dr. Wilson-King, who now practices ob.gyn. in Mount Dora, Fla.
She accomplished that goal with help from her mother and from two women who assumed nannylike roles for the children, preparing meals, driving them to and from school and to their soccer or basketball games. “Once I was finished at the office, I would run over to the soccer game or basketball game,” Dr. Wilson-King recalled. “Then we'd go home, have dinner, go over homework, and spend quality time.”
A self-described tireless worker, she did not take a lengthy vacation with her children until 1995. The purpose of the trip was to accompany Brandon's Amateur Athletic Union baseball team to the AAU National Championship in Burnsville, Minn., where his team won the title.
Until that time, “my children had summer vacations with other family members but not with me,” she said. “I had this sense of obligation that I was supposed to deliver [babies for] every one of my patients, because that's what they came to me for.”
After that trip, she made it a point to work more family vacation time into her schedule.
Once her children left home for college (Brandon is a college graduate, and Sylvanna graduates from college this May), she was able to “have a life” outside of family and work.
“I'm amazed at what I did,” said Dr. Wilson-King, who remarried in 2005. “Always take time for your kids, because you can't get it back.”
“The children will be still be okay and so will you,” said Dr. Maria J. Canizares on being a single parent. She is pictured above with her two children (Drew, top, and Bryce, middle). Courtesy Dr. Maria J. Canizares
Resident Counts Her Many Blessings
I am a fourth-year ob.gyn. resident and a single mom. Although it is not an easy lifestyle that I've chosen, I feel so blessed to be able to have my son, Jacob, and do what I love.
I married at 18—dropping out of college and giving up a full scholarship to do so—and had my son at 19. I was a stay-at-home mom for almost 2 years and then slowly started going back to school. This caused a lot of trouble with my marriage, and I was divorced at age 24, the summer between my sophomore and junior year in college. My son and I struggled those first 6 months, but with the help of some wonderfully encouraging friends, I managed to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Two years later, I was accepted into medical school.
Being a single parent is not easy some days, but I am so grateful for the joy that my son brings to my life. Jacob is 14 years old now, and I can't imagine my life without him. Although my family lives 3,000 miles away and has never been able to help much, my son and I have been blessed with friends and colleagues who form our supportive network.
As I think about this year and about finishing my residency, I once again feel both proud and lucky. I have a child whom I adore and a job that I can't imagine not doing. I currently am the chief resident of the gynecologic oncology service and definitely am pushing my 80 hours, and Jacob has picked up the slack at home. He does his laundry, takes care of the dogs, and even vacuums, all so that I can have the time necessary to be successful at this residency.
Some days I worry that I am not the best mom that I could be for him. But each day when I come home, he's here, waiting with a smile and a hug and encouraging me to take on another day.
DR. JENSEN is a fourth-year resident in the department of obstetrics and gynecology at the Medical College of Georgia, Augusta.