I asked what helped.
“I resolved to stay on meds,” he said, “even if I felt numb. I don’t drink, not even a toast to the movie. I go to bed at 10 every night, drink green juices all day, use a light box, and take walks. Transcendental meditation helps. And patience – it took 3-5 years before I was really able to feel emotion again. I’ve been stable since 2007, but thriving since 2010, with rich emotions. I have a severe form of the condition.”
Dalio experiences symptoms if he misses even a couple of doses of medication, and with two toddlers, it can be difficult for his wife that he can’t help with the children in the middle of the night. It’s not all hard, though. “My wife is Eastern European, and she has a connection to the darkness. She was always attracted to crazy people and artists, and she finds a lot of pleasure in our lives.” Like Dalio, she is screenwriter, and they collaborate on their work.
Dalio is clear about his agenda for this movie. He sees his bipolar disorder as a gift that fuels creative pursuits, and he wants others to understand how people with this disorder struggle. He used the word “beautiful” to describe the intensity of emotions that Carla and Marco experience in the film, but tragedy and torment are also screaming on the big screen. His second agenda is a plug for mainstream psychiatry and a billboard for hope: take the medications, tolerate the downside, be patient; things will work out.
Well worth seeing.
Dr. Miller is a psychiatrist who practices in Baltimore.