Most adults want to have happy romantic relationships. But meeting eligible companions and finding the time to date can feel nearly impossible to many physicians, especially residents, whose 80-hour work weeks limit opportunities to meet potential partners.1
So it’s no surprise that Dr. R’s friends have suggested that she try online dating. If she does, she would be far from alone: 15% of U.S. adults have sought relationships online, and one-fourth of people in their 20s have used a mobile dating app.2,3 Online dating might work well for Dr. R, too. Between 2005 and 2012, more than one-third of U.S. marriages started online, and these marriages seemed happier and ended in separation or divorce less often than marriages that started in more traditional ways.4
Online dating is just one example of how “the permeation of online and social media into everyday life is placing doctors in new situations that they find difficult to navigate.”5 Many physicians—psychiatrists among them—date online. Yet, like Dr. R, physicians are cautious about using social media because of worries about public exposure and legal concerns.5 Moreover, medical associations haven’t developed guidelines that would help physicians reconcile their professional and personal lives if they seek companionship online.6
Although we don’t have complete answers to Dr. R’s questions, we have gathered some ideas and information that she might find helpful. Read on as we explore:
- potential benefits for psychiatrists who try online dating
- problems when physicians use social media
- how to minimize mishaps if you seek companionship online.
Advantages and benefits
Online dating is most popular among young adults. But singles and divorcees of all ages, sexual orientations, and backgrounds are increasingly seeking long-term relationships with internet-based dating tools rather than hoping to meet people through family, friends, church, and the workplace. It has become common—and no longer stigmatizing—for couples to say they met online.2,7
A dating Web site or app is a simple, fast, low-investment way to increase your opportunities to meet other singles and to make contact with more potential partners than you would meet otherwise. This is particularly helpful for people in thinner dating markets (eg, gays, lesbians, middle-age heterosexuals, and rural dwellers) or people seeking a companion of a particular type or lifestyle.7,8 Many internet dating tools claim that their matching algorithms can increase your chances of meeting someone you will find compatible (although research questions whether the algorithms really work8). Dating sites and apps also let users engage in brief, computer-mediated communications that can foster greater attraction and comfort before meeting for a first date.8
Appeal to psychiatrists
Online dating may have special appeal to young psychiatrists such as Dr. R. Oddly enough, being a mental health professional can leave you socially isolated. Many people react cautiously when they learn you are a psychiatrist—they think you are evaluating them (and let’s face it: often, this is true).9 Psychiatrists should be cordial but circumspect in conducting work relationships, which limits the type and amount of social life they might generate in the setting where many people meet their future spouses.10
Online dating can help single psychiatrists overcome these barriers. Scientifically minded physicians can find plenty of research-grounded advice for improving online dating chances.11-14 Two medical researchers even published a meta-analysis of evidence-based methods that can improve the chances of converting online contacts to a first date.15
Caution: Hazards ahead
When seeking romance online, psychiatrists shouldn’t forget their professional obligations, including the duty to maintain clear boundaries between their social and work lives.16 If Dr. R decides to try online dating, she will be making it possible for curious patients to gain access to some of her personal information. She will have to figure out how to avoid jeopardizing her professional reputation or inadvertently opening the door to sexual misconduct.17
Boundaries online. Psychiatrists use the term “boundaries” to refer to how they structure appointments and monitor their behavior during therapy to keep the treatment relationship free of personal, sexual, and romantic influences. Keeping one’s emotional life out of treatment helps prevent exploitation of patients and fosters a sense of safety and assurance that the physician is acting solely with the patient’s interest in mind. Breaching boundaries in ways that exploit patients or serve the doctor’s needs can undermine treatment, harm patients, and result in serious professional consequences.18