This column is dedicated to the late Carl C. Bell, MD.
Dr. Alison Heru
When we work with patients and their families from cultures that are not the culture in which we ourselves were raised, we think more deeply about this balance. In this column, I offer a simple but solid framework for this inquiry.
The first family therapist to crystallize the dialectic between the self and its relationship to others was Murray Bowen, MD. He believed that the differentiation of self from the family was the major task of human development. Dr. Bowen worked in a time when vilification of the “other” was common practice in individual psychotherapies and the goal of individual psychotherapy was the development of a healthy sense of self rather than repairing or developing relationships.
When faced with patients from cultures that are unfamiliar to us, we are less confident about how to assess the balance between self and other. In many cultures, marriages are based on social class and perceived social opportunities and are arranged by the respective families. If you come from a collectivist culture, where the focus is on the belief that the group is more important than the individual, the focus is more on self in relation to a group, belonging to a group, and participating in a group than self-striving. This is most evident in the role of women in many families (as well as in other organizations), in which women shoulder the responsibility for keeping families functional and together.
American culture is focused on serious self-striving. From kindergarten, children are expected to excel and to become the best self that they can be – regardless of the toll this takes on relationships. Self-expression and self-actualization frequently are considered the pinnacle of a life’s achievement. Relationships may take a backseat, often being transitory or utilitarian. This leads to switching relationships, peer groups, and friends – and a strong emphasis on cultivating work relationships.
Exploring Dr. Bowen’s theories
Dr. Bowen posited that the family relational pull affects individual development in a negative way. Despite this, his model is considered one of the most comprehensive explanations for the development of psychological problems from a systemic, relational, and multigenerational perspective.1 He identified the basic self (B-self), which strives for differentiation in contrast to the false/pseudo/relational self (R-self), which strives to meet group or family norms.
Dr. Bowen was the oldest of three and grew up in a small town in Tennessee. His father was the mayor of the town and owned several properties, including the funeral home. Following medical training, Dr. Bowen served during World War II. He accepted a fellowship in surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., but his wartime experiences resulted in a change of interest to psychiatry. Dr. Bowen trained at the Menninger Clinic in Topeka, Kan., and in 1954 became the first director of the family division at the National Institute of Mental Health. He and his colleagues studied the families of patients with schizophrenia. They described eight fundamental concepts that supported the important aspects of individual growth. When he moved to Georgetown University in Washington, he developed the Bowen Family Systems Theory.2