Colfer’s own story is well known among his fans—a gay kid bullied throughout his school years, especially for his high-pitched speaking voice, which however wonderful for a juvenile cast member who can hit the high notes of a counter-tenor on a hit musical “dramedy,” is a deadly trait for most teenaged boys.
Heightened by the recent spate of gay teen suicides, The Trevor Project’s “It Gets Better” campaign has gone viral in recent weeks, in part helped when Dan Savage, a syndicated gay columnist, began his own YouTube channel last month. Inspired by Billy Lucas, a 15-year-old high school student in Indiana who committed suicide after being taunted by his classmates for being gay, Savage has asked famous and non-famous alike to record messages of hope to gay teens who are being bullied, and more importantly, thinking about suicide.
The difference between these announcements and the impassioned attacks against gay bullying by the likes of Ellen DeGeneres and straight celebrities such as Joe Jonas, is the fact that they are not ABOUT gay kids, they are messages TO gay kids, saying, “Hang in there. It is wretched now, but if you can make it, things DO get better.” And this from the very people they most respect, fantasize about, and who are living proof of survivorship. Gay celebrities and gay-friendly icons who have made their own “It Gets Better Videos,” include such out luminaries as actor Neil Patrick Harris and fashion guru Tim Gunn, who detailed his own suicide attempt as a gay youth.
Perhaps if you don’t know how to help that gay teen in your office who’s bullied, depressed, or withdrawn, or what to tell that kid’s parents who desperately ask what to do about their “strange” son or daughter, you can use your 15-minute slot to let them know about “It Gets Better.” Let them know they are not alone and that there is hope.
“It Gets Better” may be especially important because it is a resource that these kids can turn to when they’re are most alone—in the middle of the night staring at their computer screens, reading the inevitable anti-gay bile being spewed in comments posted on any gay news or entertainment items, or in the early morning, when they wake up, terrified of facing another day of bullying at school. If they can’t access the campaign on a computer at home, tell them to go to the library or their school computer room—but to watch who might be looking over their shoulder and delete their browser history if they feel they'll been bullied because of it. At the very least, give them The Trevor Project Lifeline number: 866-488-7386.
If the kid isn’t out (at least not to you) or if the parents aren’t willing or able to deal with that kind knowledge or suspicion, perhaps you can slip some links into a generalized list of resources for troubled teens. If the kid is LGBTQ, he or she WILL follow them and likely be grateful for the secret high sign.
October 11 is National Coming Out Day. Many who should be will not be here to see it. Maybe you can help do something about the next batch of gay or questioning youth at risk. They may be shy. They may speak in monosyllables. They may be painfully polite or wryly sarcastic. And you may actually be patching up the physical or mental results of gay bullying or gay self-hate without realizing it, because they probably won’t tell you what really happened to them.
Don’t let them scare you off. Educate yourself as best you can. Help them if you can. And tell them, from me, that it does get better.
Other related resources for LBGTQ teens include Matthew’s Place, named in honor of murdered gay teen Matthew Shepard and the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, which promotes education and lobbying for gender equality in schools. And for these and other teens being bullied for whatever reason, visit Stomp Out Bullying and the National Center for Bullying Prevention. To learn the names and faces of the recent suicides, go here.