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Coping With the Loss of a Spouse


 

Take some time off from work. Ms. Rapini recommends at least a 2-week break from work, “just to get things kind of settled.” She called grief “a complicated issue” that affects everyone differently. “A lot of how you grieve depends on how healthy your relationship was,” she said. “The healthier it was, the less complicated grief you'll have. Many times people who were in a healthy marriage will get remarried quicker.”

Be wary of making drastic changes. Some people want to change their whole routine and residence right away. Others prefer to stay in the same house they shared with their spouse. “Usually what I tell people is, try not to change anything drastic, like your residence, or [marriage status], or quitting your job for at least a year,” Ms. Rapini said. “Usually, within a year, you've come full circle and you have new understandings about yourself and you're more stable to make that decision.”

Get professional help if you need it. Signs that you may need professional help include irritability, insomnia, feelings of guilt or that you should have done more, significant changes in your eating pattern, and feeling like you're walking around in a daze. “Usually you do feel somewhat dazed, but if that lasts more than 4–6 weeks, I would talk to somebody,” she said.

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