Commentary

Quick tips for taming toxic feelings


 

References

Our team has been involved with a patient whose hospital stay is measured not in days, weeks, or months but in years. The scope of the problems surrounding not only the medical issues but also the family dynamic, out-of-hospital support system, and social situation can easily make the most seasoned providers feel paralyzed. It is fair to use words such as helpless, hopeless, overwhelmed, angry, confused, and conflicted for how the dozens of team members caring for this patient feel on a regular basis.

While the details of this case would eat up multiple columns, it might better for the reader to recall when a patient whose case you’ve been involved in has brought out strong, and often times, negative emotions from the faculty and staff that resulted in conflict. Finding a path to resolve conflict can be one of the most rewarding aspects of working within a system that relies on teamwork for desired, successful outcomes.

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Taking simple measures can ensure that conflicts among healthcare professionals do not linger.

Toxic feelings build up easily in cases in which it seems like there is no end, no chance for our good intentions and hard work to salvage a patient’s spiraling course. Conflict with those we work with is almost inevitable. Hospitalists disagree with the surgeons, nursing staff and the pain team aren’t on the same page, hospital administration might seem to have the C-suite agenda. It is in times like this that conflict resolution smarts can preserve the peace. While maintaining a collegial attitude might not ultimately transform the patient’s outcome, the presence of on-going conflict amongst health care professionals is well studied and studded with unwanted outcomes.

There are conflict resolution books, courses, and even graduate degrees. For the hospitalist on the run, what principles can be applied immediately?

Don’t react. Think it through. Emotions are strong and feelings differ. This is the crucible for doing something we might later regret. If you hear or read something that makes you upset, then first assume that your colleague has attempted to craft the absolute best plan for the patient. Before making statements or casting judgment, ask many questions. Never send a text or e-mail, make a phone call, or approach someone when you’re having trouble suppressing strong emotions.

Practice active listening. This takes concentration, so rid yourself of distractions while engaging in listening. Use body language such as smiling or nodding to acknowledge the other person’s message. Pay attention to their gesticulations and nonverbal cues to their position. Avoid interruptions and defer judgment until they have finished. Summarize what you’ve heard from them to demonstrate that their message has been received. Even when you heartily disagree, show respect. We have the ability to find ways of being both candid and kind in our responses.

Always go after the problem. It is too easy to attack a person rather than the underlying issue. Everyone involved in the care of a patient has the potential to contribute to the solution. By staying focused on the problem and not the people, you are building trust with your colleagues.

Continue to show up. We all tire and become jaded with these marathon cases. Throwing your hands up in surrender and failing to remain a participating member of the team will send a message that you are not accepting responsibility. Showing up shouts that you’re committed.

Be mindful of the words used in communication. Focus on "I" statements rather than "You" statements.As in "I need feedback on the plan of care I’ve proposed," rather than "You haven’t provided me with feedback on my plan." ... "I need more information before deciding on whether this procedure would be beneficial," rather than, "You haven’t told me why the procedure needs to be done now."

Find common goals. Don’t spend time picking apart a nurse’s point of view or your consultant’s idea to work-up diagnoses that seem farfetched. Instead agree upon a goal or two and ask how we can get there together.

Look toward tomorrow. Focusing on what has happened in the past leads only to war, litigation, or stagnation. Talking about how you can go forward from here can help reset the dynamic.

Like negotiation tools we’ve previously written about conflict resolution skills have broad applicability outside the work place and can make life better in a variety of situations.

As always if you’d like suggested readings or resources please contact us.

Dr. Bekanich and Dr. Leigh A. Fredholm are codirectors of Seton Palliative Care, part of the University of Texas Southwestern residency programs in Austin. They alternate contributions to the monthly Palliatively Speaking blog.

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