▸ Child: How much and whether. The child decides whether to eat, and what to eat from the selections available. Parents must trust children to do their jobs regarding eating. Children will eat. They will know how much to eat. They will eat a variety of foods. They will grow predictably, and gradually will learn to manage the “what, when, and where” decisions for themselves. Only after they leave home do they become fully independent eaters.
This does not mean that a parent must provide junk food if a child wants it. “The parent is in charge of the menu and the child can eat or not eat. It's not an open menu,” Ms. Satter explained. But the parent should put food on the table that's nutritionally and developmentally appropriate for the child. A parent who decides to eat a low-fat diet should still offer food with a variety of fat content at meals so that children can choose what's appropriate for them.
Early feeding errors by parents who try to control the child's “how much” and “whether” decisions undermine the child's internal regulators and lead to too-rapid weight gain or loss. Physicians can help parents who are expecting or who have children by teaching this division of responsibility and emphasizing the skills of providing food, not depriving them of foods, Ms. Satter said.
When families with overweight children adopt this model, a child may overeat initially and parents may panic, she added. If they hang in and trust, however, then the child's internal regulators should take over within a few weeks and provide healthy eating habits for life.